Like death by a thousand cuts, microaggressions can lead to frustration, burnout, and even departure from STEM careers. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard, “You don’t look like a typical engineer.” These comments, though brief and possibly unintentional, are demeaning to women. While we often try to ignore them, they undermine our confidence, challenge our professional identity, and make us feel excluded.
Most women experience microaggressions but may not always recognize them. For example, men often interrupt us when we speak. We hear comments about our appearance or emotional state, and we observe colleagues taking credit for our work. Fortunately, research on such microaggressions has expanded in recent years, as has our understanding of their deleterious effects. In fact, we now know that microaggressions fall into three categories: microassaults (exclusionary, isolating, or threatening language, behavior, or environments); microinsults (belittling or offensive comments or behaviors); and microinvalidations (dismissive statements or behaviors that invalidate someone’s experience).
In a report titled Women in The Workplace-2023, McKinsey and Company and LeanIn.Org find that women who experience microaggressions and respond by self-shielding (adapting their behaviors) are four times more likely than men to feel burned out and three times more likely to consider leaving their company. Research like this, which aims to understand exactly what microaggressions are, how to detect them, how to stop them from occurring, and how to mitigate their effects, contributes to our understanding of why women leave STEM at much higher rates than men.
Microaggressions signal disrespect, cause acute stress, and negatively impact women’s careers and health. Research also finds that they cause women to feel emotionally unsafe; to avoid taking risks, proposing new ideas, or raising concerns; and to feel excluded. Jennifer Kim and Alyson Meister have examined microaggressions specifically in STEM and have published their studies in the Harvard Business Review and the Journal of Business Ethics. They find that microaggressions can hurt a woman’s identity as a professional, and in STEM, one’s professional identity makes recognition and promotion possible. For example, I identify as an engineer, but when someone tells me that I don’t look like one, I question that identity and believe that others question it as well.
Another one of Kim and Meister’s findings, based on interviews they have conducted, is that most women say they spend a considerable amount of cognitive energy deciphering the intent and meaning behind microaggressions. Many grapple with whether or not to confront the aggressor—energy they could otherwise spend exploring new ideas and creating better solutions.
Kim and Meister suggest that awareness, allyship, and education are key to reducing microaggressions and their effects. Awareness is a good first step. I often only recognize microaggressions in retrospect because of their subtle nature and due to my “good girl” upbringing. However, once I realize that I have experienced one, I have to figure out what to do next, an even more-complicated task. Do I confront the offender? Report them to HR? I know my actions can have ramifications or even backfire, so when I report a microaggression, I know that I may subject myself to more labeling and bias. Kim and Meister do find that talking to other women about the given situation can help validate and address the problem.
They state that “unprompted and supportive allies—both male and female colleagues—who intervene and interrupt the negative experiences play an important role in addressing microaggressions and in mitigating their effects on the targeted women.” While having allies is important, being an ally for others may be even more important.
To become an ally:
- Educate yourself about the types of microaggressions.
- Listen to targets who share examples of microaggressions.
- Speak up, directly or indirectly, by intervening to correctly give credit and acknowledge the work of someone targeted by a microaggression.
Microvalidations: An Antidote to Microaggressions? As a counterpoint to the subtlety and power of microaggressions, microvalidations (actions or language that demonstrate affirmation, encouragement, and belief in a person’s potential) can provide crucial. Microvalidations include gestures as simple as acknowledging and affirming someone’s experience of a microaggression or giving encouraging feedback and sincere compliments, for example, recognizing someone’s presence, validating their identity, and voicing your appreciation for everyone’s contributions.
Unfortunately, we must also accept the fact that speaking up has its risks, and so we may face retaliation and exclusion too.
What we don’t want is to put the burden of fixing the problem on the back of the target. Expecting the targeted person to spotlight the microaggression and to educate the offender can take an emotional toll. Instead, companies should educate all employees and leaders about microaggressions and establish clear policies against them. Many times, because of misplaced social norms, perpetrators lack awareness of their comments’ harmful effects. They may believe in the innocence or complimentary quality of their words, until someone points out the underlying meaning. I even still catch myself starting to say something that is based on bias and is hurtful.
Another dark side of microaggressions involves people who weaponize them, who create an environment where their sensitivity to potential microaggressions is dialed up so high that dialogue becomes a minefield, and everyone is uncomfortable speaking up for fear that their words will be misinterpreted. Getting this right is a balancing act. Somewhere in the middle lies the place where we can have conversations about microaggressions without judging and criticizing each other. We should make room for empathy toward those who unknowingly cause harm, as well as room for everyone to fiercely defend themselves and others from hurtful comments.
Next time you witness a microaggression against a woman, consider stepping up as an ally by acknowledging her competence or by validating her experience dealing with the insulting words or behavior. Allies can play an important role in reducing the negative effects of microaggressions, in protecting women’s professional identity, and in improving their likelihood of remaining in STEM to make important contributions or to pursue leadership opportunities.
Meleah Ashford is a water resources engineer with a BS from Oregon State University and an MS from the University of California, Berkeley. She worked in industry for 30 years, for most of her career as an engineering consultant. Ashford is now a certified Life Coach, and she helps people meet goals related to financial welI-being, starting a business, and living the life they desire. She has owned two businesses: an engineering firm and a life coaching company. She grew up in rural eastern Oregon and now lives in Oregon’s Willamette Valley. She is currently writing a book about women in STEM.
This article was originally published in AWIS Magazine. Join AWIS to access the full issue of AWIS Magazine and more member benefits.