Our upbringing, societal expectations, and STEM workplace cultures intersect to create a challenging landscape for us women. Society constantly bombards us with messages about how we should behave and what we need to do to succeed. This conditioning leads to behavior adaptations that are given names (like imposter syndrome), assigned attributes, and prescribed cures: A space ripe for myths.
Happily, we find ourselves in a changing STEM environment, one with evolving leadership models that transition away from the “command and control” (and I would add “conform”) styles of leadership toward more inclusive, inspiring, and innovative methods that motivate employees to perform at their best. We now have the space to rethink some of the traditional myths that have inhibited our creativity and authenticity.
Take the time to contemplate the following myths. Reflect on them and on how they might tax your emotional energy as you try to fight them or internalize them.
Myth 1: Emotions show weakness.
Society teaches boys and men to view emotions as feminine and the act of showing them as a sign of weakness. When women enter male-dominated fields, they internalize this myth and stifle their emotions. But, in reality, emotions are just emotions. They tell you about something that occurs around you, something that triggers you. Emotions can powerfully motivate you when you see them as neutral, dig deeper into their origin, and process them at their true source, rather than reacting at a surface level.
Myth 2: Intuition has no place in science.
As a woman in STEM, you come to understand science as objective and to employ analytical methods to solve problems. But what if you learn to combine this systematic process with your intuition? Intuition can powerfully help you shortcut the discovery process in science. The combination of intuition and technical training often proves effective and efficient.
Myth 3: Boundaries are selfish.
Personal well-being, actually relies on good boundaries. However, modern culture still socializes women to prioritize others’ needs over their own. This pressure to put others first impedes your ability to set boundaries and leads you to feeling overwhelmed and resentful. You must understand that communicating your personal rules of engagement (aka, boundaries) empowers you. This communication outwardly expresses that you believe your needs and priorities are important … and they are. Boundaries protect your time and energy so you can be at your best. Letting people know where you stand and what you will and will not tolerate does not show selfishness. Instead, this communication creates healthier relationships based on authenticity.
Myth 4: Imposter syndrome is bad.
Imposter syndrome sets in when you get out of your comfort zone by doing something new and challenging. In STEM, of course, you frequently do something new and challenging. Hopefully, you always expand your knowledge and skills. Consider the uncomfortable feeling of imposter syndrome as an essential part of becoming more proficient. Rather than letting imposter syndrome hold you back, embrace it as an opportunity to learn and grow in your career.
Myth 5: Self-criticism & self-judgment are motivating.
You might think, “How else will I learn if I’m not critical of myself?” Won’t self-judgment drive me to improve?” Actually, self-criticism just piles on self-doubt, and self-judgment triggers shame and a stress response. Neither response helps you perform optimally. Genuine motivation comes from curiosity and a desire to learn and grow. You also find motivation when you believe in yourself and in the purpose of your actions. You should try to replace self-criticism and self-judgement with self-reflection and self-compassion.
Reframing your view of these common myths can free you up to do your best work. Be compassionate toward yourself. Explore how your intuition and curiosity can guide your work, how setting good boundaries can improve your relationships, and how recognizing that the discomfort of doing something new can lead to career growth.
Meleah Ashford is a water resources engineer with a BS from Oregon State University and an MS from University of California at Berkeley. She worked in industry for 30 years, most of her career as an engineering consultant. Ashford is now a certified Life Coach with Find Solid Ground Coaching where she helps people meet goals related to financial well-being, starting a business, living the life they desire and being a women in STEM. She has owned two businesses; an engineering firm and a life coaching business. Meleah grew up in rural eastern Oregon and now lives in the Oregon’s Willamette Valley.
This article was originally published in AWIS Magazine. Join AWIS to access the full issue of AWIS Magazine and more member benefits.